Okay WOW! I just want to give an update on how being home has been since it’s already been almost two months.
After arriving home in Colorado Springs, CO, I was reunited with my parents, brother and sister, and two dogs. My house was pretty much exactly the same coming home which was really comforting. The day after getting back, we went on our annual camping trip called Spring Party with my family and family friends. This was followed by a week of sabbath/processing. I’m SO grateful I did that because I was not ready to answer any questions without thinking through the race first haha.
I started babysitting these three awesome kids named Autumn, Hudson, and Emma twice a week. They’re very creative and just fun to hang out with. I really think this is my ministry for this summer.
I’ve been so blessed to have my amazing friends here, and it’s been so fun reconnecting with them. I’ve also gotten to hang out with some new/old friends who wanted to hear about my trip, which really meant a lot. ☺️
0.5’s with my peeps
MEALS WITH THESE AMAZING GIRLS
I’ve also gotten to meet up with friends from the Race including Maya, Carter, Avery, and Alia. It’s been sweet keeping up with my squad in general.
After the first couple weeks, I was feeling lack community-wise and spiritually I felt dry, so I decided to start going to the Young Adults nights at my church. It was intimidating at first, but now I have some amazing friends who are pursuing me a lot, and a place to connect with Jesus deeper other than just at home and at church on Sunday.
I was able to hold a donor appreciation party, and my guests sat through me talk for an hour and a half. I was super grateful for this time to share my about my ENTIRE trip to people I love.
There have been some fun adventures so far in the summer: hiking around, going on an almost camping trip with my brother (we got stuck in mud and went home 😔), going swing dancing, climbing the Manitou incline by myself, and camping with my whole family and now THREE dogs by beautiful mountains.
God has been sooooo SO good, of course. I’ve already gone through some ups and downs, feeling close and feeling distant. Overall, I’m just learning to hold onto the truth of what He’s done in my life, and remember that He’s the same yesterday, today, and forever. The first few weeks of me being back, I feel like I was seeing Him left and right everyday, all day. Slowly it started to dim, and I felt myself getting scared that I was doing something wrong. For a couple weeks I was in a funk of subconsciously wondering what I was doing wrong, but I kept pressing in. I told myself and God what I needed was just fresh revelation, because I felt like I already forgot His love, but my friend reminded me that I had the power to renew my mind through what I know God has done. Another friend told me to meditate on God’s compassion, which is when things really switched. I was totally forgetting His grace and compassion that is overflowing out of Him. That makes things a lot simpler and a lot more life-giving, remembering I am just beloved dust. Even if I never did another thing for Him, He would love me just the same. So crazy.
I’ve reflected a lot on who I was last year compared to now. God has truly changed everything, and I would never go back to who I was before Him. Sometimes it just hits me and I become overwhelmed with gratitude for how I can live in freedom, peace, and joy knowing that God is taking care of me and He’ll never leave me. When I actually started believing that stuff is when I found freedom. What do you mean if I just seek God everything will be provided for me? I’ll never have to worry about my future because He’s already my days planned since before I was created? SIGN ME UP!! I want to be His devoted apprentice and faithful little sheep, showing everyone that this is where true life is. It’s through letting go of our life we think we can plan out ourselves, and letting our Good Father take the wheel. I knowww it won’t be easy, but I want to empty myself for His glory, and I know that’s where I’ll find myself, my purpose, and true, satisfying life.
People have of course asked me, “So what’s next?” Truth is, I’m still not completely sure. I felt like I should apply for the fall 10-40 trip, and I started getting excited about it. Soon after I was accepted, it got cancelled. I was pretty bummed for a lot of reasons, but partly because my brother Marcus is going on a semesters trip to South Africa and Eswatini, and I was excited about being at the same training camp as him. Then my mentor sent a link to sign up for serve team, I felt a little jump in my heart, then signed up to serve for the three weeks of training camp. “Okay awesome, I’m just going to serve for three weeks, then come home and enjoy Colorado fall and winter! Sounds so perfect.” Theeennnn my counselor Clara sent me a text asking if I would consider being a squad leader for this fall. AH. This was a hard one for me. Pretty much immediately I mentally was like “Noooo thanks.” My parents encouraged me, but really encouraged me to pray about it. So for the next week I was praying, and ended up feeling like I should just apply. We’ll see where God takes me from here. This is a huge responsibility, and honestly I do not feel ready as a 19 year old new apprentice to Jesus. But who am I to say I can’t do it if God is calling me? I know He will lead me because He is the Good Shepherd, so I’m just following step by step right now.
He is so good. I’m so thankful for everything I have here, and this summer has been amazing. I genuinely could not be more blessed. Soaking everything up on this mountain top!!!
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